今天起来晨读的时候，读到罗素的一篇文章，突然心灵不自禁的悸动，然后很感动，我仿佛找到自己曾经的影子。可是现在却只看到一个功利、虚荣、堕落的年轻人。

    罗素的原文如下：

    Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a great ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair. 

    I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy - ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness--that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what--at last--I have found.

    With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux. A little of this, but not much, I have achieved. 

    Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate this evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer. 

    This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me.

    这是为更新而更新的文章，说说近况。

    方方居然结婚了，没想到他会最早。曾经他是如此堕落，胜过我的堕落!那段时日，方方自己说，他是烂泥扶不上墙，很多人也心含鄙夷。我却相信，人生总是一波三折，重要的或许是不死的灵魂，我一直相信他，只是没想着他这么快就回头。zzfish至今还在痛苦和迷茫，那种痛苦我感受得到，不过我相信有一天zzfish也会自拔，也会奋起，超越我们，凭他的智慧和良知，赢取他人生的再一次的辉煌。

    我也很想这么安慰自己，慢慢来，不要慌。可是我做不到，我依然在堕落、痛苦的泥潭中挣扎。小慧说，人可以大器晚成，如果你周围的人不慌，如果你不慌，也就是少享受几年，或者在不能享受的年月来享受。所以我越发的着急和痛苦，可是我暂时找不到驱动力。

    我总是爱放任自己，爱依靠别人，我无法改变自己，只能通过别人来改变自己，有意识的选择打交道的人。我的一个学生对于人生异常认真，最近每天早上喊我起来读英语。最近我每天打游戏到深夜，打到小区保安都认识我了，可早上还得早早起来，晕！！！

    赶着出门，走了，改天写